Invert

Suddenly i become a selfish and probably, heartless human being.
I was wondering, that it's actually really uncomfortable and disturbing when all of a sudden you would like to contact, to hear from, or to have a little talk with someone —out of the blue. Not in a romantic way, but it's just a mere urge. But then, you can do nothing. Practically, i just can't.
It's kind of perplexing.
Then, the negative side of my brain took over everything before i realize it.
Presumably it would have been better if i had not met certain people.
I'm very conscious of it. Without the encounter, i would have missed immeasurable important circumstances and memories, which i treasure dearly up until now. Honestly, i don't want it. Deep inside the heart, no one wants it.
Life is after all a series of both wonderful and terrible events. A mystery load, specially picked and delivered to each individual. Mostly an enigma.
Life isn't only about the sparkling and glittering lights. There are also pitch black and somber darkness which is unfortunately, unavoidable.
Two inseparable aspects of life, i suppose.
But it's very troublesome; The mixed up feeling, the uneasiness and anxiety.
And, desperately trying to escape from such distressing condition is just so humane. No one to blame.