Jealousy simply occurs not because you want to monopolized certain someone. It is not because you want them only to be yours. I believe it is a manifestation of an egocentric thoughts; it is not the person, it is the place which is a reflection of the person, that you were afraid of losing.
You were afraid to lose the special place where you take long time to reach, together with continuous battle with yourself in between the quest. The place where you can naturally feel safe and wanted, where your true shine from the deepest and darkest part of your soul—you thought there isn't any light left there anymore—finally emerged, where you are undoubtedly the best version of yourself you could have ever imagined. And you, are petrified that your place will be snatched away in less than milliseconds. It is not possible, it is not possible, but noxious pompous thoughts make everything seems to make sense isn't it?
Jealousy was always my biggest fear.
Isn't jealousy a lucid symptom expressing how shallow your feeling is, and how you barely put sincerity and faith in the process of loving someone?
When you are willing to love unconditionally, there should not be even a slightest amount of jealousy emanated.
You demand from love, thus you feel jealous.
It is as if, something you have always treasured and protected, is going to be abruptly taken away from you and it is not coming back, ever again. Does it feel like that? Then what was everything up until now? Don't you want to have unwavering confidence in a bond you have been carefully established?
How sad it became when the delicate feeling you always treasure is suddenly flecked with impurities. It is supposed to be a dainty ripple but suddenly it is a raging wave. But yes, it doesn't have to be like this.
We never were able to choose the feelings we felt; we got hurt and weep over our own baffling frightful feeling, yet in fact we were all given the very same capability to overcome them. Amidst your tears, close your eyes and submerge into your heart. You know the root, you know the whys, and the only thing you can do is to make peace with whatever the reason is. It is all a matter of volition and relentless endeavor.
